parktrotter

I have now had just about enough of the Disneyland park employees. I suppose the karma runs both ways: the company makes them wear absurd uniforms and perform almost unbelievably repetitive jobs, and they have their revenge. Disney, it will one day be revealed, has a management strategy that, like Six Sigma at Motorola or Continuous Improvement at Toyota, has a name: 70ALC. As in, “We hope one day to have at least 70 percent of our employees exhibiting an acceptable level of contempt at least 70 percent of the time.”

It had me thinking of this Onion news classic: “Disney Family Vacation Ruined by Walt Disney Corporation.” But the details are not entirely correct:

ORLANDO, FL–A magical Walt Disney World family vacation was ruined last weekend by the stringent policies and protocol of the Walt Disney Company.

“They call Disney World ‘The Happiest Place On Earth,’ but being there was oddly stressful and upsetting,” said David Mahaffey, 36, a Dover, DE, insurance-claims adjuster who, along with his wife and two children, endured a four-day visit to the Orlando theme park. “Why did Disney have to ruin the Disney magic for everyone?”…

The family…found itself put on edge by the passive-aggressive friendliness of park employees, or “cast members.”

“They were always wearing these hollow, insincere, glued-on smiles, whether they were selling you a $6 croissant or strapping you into the ‘It’s A Small World’ ride and genially ordering you to keep your hands by your sides at all times,” David said. “The creepiest example was the guy outside Space Mountain who said hello to us with a big grin on his face as he was on his hands and knees cleaning up vomit.”

No, that’s not right at all. Here at the original Disneyland, none of them smile ever, and are as abrupt as they can be without getting in trouble for it. If I hear “Can I get you to stand over here?” one more time, I am going to snap.

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